| FOCUS ON...THOSE LEFT BEHIND |
We Will Remember Them |
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The main object of the War Widows Association of Great Britain is to draw attention to the specific needs of War Widows. |
The aim of the Association is ‘to improve conditions for War Widow/ers and their dependants who may be encountering difficulties’. Recipients of the Armed Forces Compensation Scheme 2005 are also included. The Association works with the other Widows Associations to address the problems of the newly bereaved and their families.
It engages regularly with the Government keeping it informed of the issues and concerns of its members. Representatives also serve on a variety of committees at which they express the Association views.
Members range in age from those bereaved in WWII to the young widow/ers and partners of present day Service personnel. The Association signposts those seeking advice about pensions, housing, financial assistance and practical help to the government department or voluntary organisation which can best assist.
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Remembrance, Recognition and Support
It is important that the Nation does not forget the sacrifice made by loved ones who have died in the service of their country in peacetime and in War. The Association ensures it is represented at national and local Remembrance Services and holds its own service at the Cenotaph each November. This is a very personal act of remembrance and a time for all to meet together and to support each other. This support and friendship is offered throughout the year at local and national meetings, with the newsletter ‘Courage’ keeping members informed of all activities. For the housebound and lonely ‘Courage’ is a way of keeping in touch and feeling included.
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RAF WIDOWs ASSOCIATION - Here to help
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The RAF Widows Association was formed 16 years ago to provide immediate and long term advice, support, information and mutual friendship, for widows, widowers, partners and the children of RAF personnel who die whilst serving. |
The Association is informed immediately of the death and sends their information pack via the Visiting Officer to be delivered to the widow. It contains a lot of useful pointers for the immediate time pre and post funeral, and information for the more long term problems and worries, with a list of useful contacts.
The Association also issues its twice-yearly magazine Contact which contains information about events organised for the members and their children, pension issues, changes in policy, and all issues relevant to the well being of its members.
Making that first call
When Mrs C’s husband died, they were living at a very small unit who had not had to deal with death in service very often. She was so distraught, not knowing where to turn, but on receiving her pack from the RAF Widows Association she contacted them for advice. |
The Association has continued to provide valuable advice and support to Mrs C. Through this, she found out that she was entitled to claim for a War Widows pension, an attributable pension, removal expenses and disturbance allowance.
That first phone call, which is so hard to make, has enabled Mrs C to have the sort of life her husband would have wished for his family.
For further information:
call 01404 831508
(National Telephone number and 24 hour answer phone service), visit www.rafcom.co.uk
/bereavement/widows01.cfm
or write: c/o RAF Benevolent Fund,
67 Portland Place, London, W1N 4AR. |
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Encourage Service Personnel to make a will
The Naval Families Federation is the independent voice of Royal Naval and Royal Marines families. Their role is to highlight problems to the chain of command or service providers; working with them and other agencies to develop the support they provide to Naval families. Their aspiration is to improve the quality of life for Naval Service families around the world - on any aspect that is affected by the Service lifestyle.
Lesley Ann, a Royal Naval widow, approached the Federation, to ask them to raise awareness of her story. Her message is quite simply - please make a will.
“Until 12 November 2005 we had been a very ordinary Naval family, husband just finished three years in London, a beautiful young son, own home, financially secure, looking forward to life in Portsmouth as a family again. All of that changed when my husband, aged 41, died unexpectedly. He had bought and cooked dinner, that evening in November, choked on a mouthful of food and died. Within minutes our life as we knew it was over.”
“I do not have the words to explain how it feels to watch the one you love die in front of you.
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“That night, and for sometime to come, life took on a surreal blur. Your rock, soul-mate, lover, gone; but you are not allowed to grieve; the financial wheels keep turning and you have to start thinking about probate, solicitors, will, etc.
“Before my husband was buried I was faced with financial chaos, because we never made a will. The Naval support was wonderful, but there is only so much they can do. As the anniversary of my husband’s death passed, the estate was still not settled. I was lucky to be able to access other funds and am sure in the end it will be a satisfactory outcome.
“However, the worry, anguish and frustration that are inflicted at such a time of great pain are almost unbearable. My dearest husband, who was a barrister and a very gifted, talented man, had always taken great care of his family, but did not realise the gravity of his actions in not writing a will.
“It is not a hard or expensive thing to do and it ensures that your wishes, should anything happen, are carried out your way and your family are spared further anguish and costly solicitor’s fees.”
For further information: call 0239 265 4374 Email: admin@nff.org.uk or visit www.nff.org.uk
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Winston’s Wish
the charity for bereaved children
Winston’s Wish the child bereavement charity, helps young people re-adjust to life after the death of a parent or sibling. By providing professional assistance before, during and after bereavement they help them to better understand the nature of loss and offer the practical support and guidance that many need in order to cope throughout the grieving process.
Winston’s Wish is now recognised as the leading organisation in this field and its pioneering model of family support has been adapted and used by many other organisations throughout the UK and abroad.
Now in its 16th year, Winston’s Wish has a range of services that include a national telephone Helpline for anyone caring for or concerned about a bereaved child. Every year 13,000 children and their families use the Helpline as the first point of call to access services that the charity offers.
Following contact through the Helpline, Winston’s Wish provides a full programme of support, including individual work, family work and Camp Winston, a residential weekend where children are able to express their grief safely and share bereavement stories. This group work is extremely valuable in helping children to realise they are not alone in their grief.
Michael’s story
Michael was celebrating his 13th birthday with a party for his friends on the day his father was killed.
Initially Michael saw a counsellor and although this was helpful it did not help enough. Over a period of two years Michael missed 50% attendance at school due to stress, illness, anger and grief. It was difficult to find specific help for a teenager. I contacted Winston’s Wish after a friend suggested they might help.
To begin with Michael just spoke to one of their trained counsellors over the phone and this certainly helped him as he felt the chap was ‘on his level’ and not judging him. I also spoke to them as they are more than aware that parents tend to concentrate on helping their children through the grief and forget that they need help too. The child speaks confidentially to the counsellor and can access a special website for chat rooms with other children who have gone through a similar tragedy.
After a few months it became clear that Michael needed extended help from Winston’s Wish so we spent a day in Cheltenham with them to assess if a weekend camp would be appropriate to help him. This was an extremely emotional day with a lot of issues being discussed that I had found very difficult to approach by myself.
The weekend camp was a real turning point for Michael and although expensive it has made an enormous difference. Michael was able to discuss his feelings as well as have fun and relax knowing he was amongst other children who knew how he was feeling. I spent the weekend on a parents programme which was very emotional but finally made me let go of all the emotion I had kept ‘on hold’ for two years whilst I tried to look after my son.
Michael has continued to make steady progress and is now far more able to address any problems, fears and grief.
Case study provided by War Widows Association |
For further information: visit www.winstonswish.org.uk
or call 01242 515157.
The Helpline number for families and professionals is 08452 03 04 05.
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SUPPORTING TODAY’S WIDOWS
Through, comfort, support and friendship
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The Army Widows’ Association (AWA) was formed by widows in 2004. Its aim is to offer comfort, support and friendship to the widows/widowers and recognised partners of deceased Army* personnel and help them resolve some of the difficulties they may face after the death of their loved one. |
Membership is open to those who have been bereaved since 1981. All members have lost loved ones as a result of many different circumstances including: conflict, accident, natural causes and suicide. The Association is able to offer support and sympathy to those who have been recently widowed, offering continuous help and advice whenever the member feels it is needed.
How the AWA have helped each other:
As a result of meeting another widow, an AWA member had her pension situation changed, giving her and her dependent child a better financial standing. Three years after the death of her husband, she was awarded a War Widows pension which then led to them gaining an attributable pension.
The Association hold an annual event at Amport House, Hampshire, it’s an opportunity to cover serious issues but also a chance to relax and make new friends enhancing the support system the Association provides.
As many AWA members have children, the Association have been happy to help organise several theatre outings in London and children may be included in other outings where appropriate in the future.
The Association is now putting some Gurkha widows in touch with the Resettlement Branch to arrange English language training, which will hopefully help improve their lives in England. |
 The AWA is totally independent but works closely with the MOD, Army Welfare Policy Branch and other ex-Service organisations.
| *This includes regular Army and TA/Reserve (if they were mobilised for regular service at the time of death) |
For further information:
call 01980 615558,
Email info@armywidows.org.uk
or visit www.armywidows.org.uk |
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Issue 11