Bereaved children from military families need 'hope for the future', says leading childhood bereavement charity.
Winston’s Wish, the leading childhood bereavement charity in the UK, has reported an increase in calls to their national helpline from military families and other adults concerned for a child bereaved as a result of recent armed conflict.
The organisation takes over 3,500 calls every year from parents and professionals who are supporting a bereaved child. Whilst the majority of calls are as a result of bereavement through accident or illness, there have been a greater number of calls seeking advice on how best to support the children and young people from bereaved military families, including calls from family members and military personnel.
Karen Robinson, Head of Family Services at Winston’s Wish said “we have supported, and are currently supporting, a number of military families following the death of a parent or sibling. In the current period of conflict we are seeing an ever-increasing demand on our services from around the UK. We know that to help now is the right way to address problems that may otherwise cause damaging long-term consequences for bereaved children.”
Some are parents seeking advice as to how they should speak to their children about death, whether their children should attend the funeral, or how to address their concerns in the immediate period after the death of a loved one. . For others, their children are expressing anger or fear since their bereavement which may be affecting their schooling or home life. Many just need reassurance from Winston’s Wish that will enable them to support and comfort their children in the best way possible.
“From our 18 years experience of supporting bereaved children and young people we know that the death of a parent or sibling can be one of the most fundamental losses a child will ever face. When the death has come as a direct, or indirect, result of military conflict there can be a great deal more questions, concerns, frustrations and problems which need to be addressed before a child can learn to live with their grief,” said Robinson.
Many of these children and young people will have already been experiencing considerable fear and anxiety when parents or siblings in the forces are away from home; emotions which are often made worse by distressing media coverage. At the same time children may have faced difficult questions from friends at school and will have been separated from their loved ones for prolonged periods of time.
“Children of military families are often termed ‘mobile children’ as they constantly have to move home so losing their essential networks of support. Bereavement can be an incredibly isolating experience for children but we know that with the right support, at the right time, these children can grow into resilient adults and face the future with hope and confidence,” said Robinson.
“The adults are not only coping with their own grief, but also trying to provide answers to impossible questions and explanations for these incredibly distressing situations they find themselves in. For example, one mother said that before her husband left to go back to Afghanistan he had promised their little boy that he would be back home soon. He was killed whilst on patrol and she was now struggling to explain to her son why Daddy didn’t keep his promise.”
Winston’s Wish is the only child bereavement charity providing national specialist support programmes for children bereaved through suicide, murder and manslaughter, and are working to extend the offer of national support to conflict-bereaved children. They are working closely with the Ministry of Defence, SSAFA Forces Help and other military charities to ensure families can access the support they need.
Anyone supporting a bereaved child can call the Winston’s Wish helpline, from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday, on 08452 030405. Further advice and practical resources are available from www.winstonswish.org.uk. The organisation is a charity which relies almost entirely on voluntary donations to fund its essential work. Anyone wishing to donate, or find out more about how they can support the charity, can do so by visiting the website – www.winstonswish.org.uk.
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